Is it necrophilia if we're both dead?
she was most def 27.5% uglier than a troll, but the sex was great
I'm pretty sure I saw a man standing on a table with no shirt on getting sugar thrown at him while "pour some sugar on me" blaring while the cops were in the house.
We totally just fucked in a closet. These vacations with his family are causing creativity I never thought I had.
No room in fridge, chilling wine in snow. Do NOT let the dog pee on it.
Min and u sung xhionubjs. Cause that's what u kiij like a xhionunk
I am getting drunk. And i'm going to paint my face and slide down the stairs like Pochahontas. Goodbye
I have family pictures in an hour and a half and I'm 9 beers deep. This is how I get written out of my grandparents will...
Go for it! You're young. Have fun. Be somebody's expensive hobby like Anastasia Steele.
I just made out with Ricky Ullman of Phil of the Future fame and I don't know what I'm doing anymore. Help.
The smell of mosquito spray completely ruined the sex.
Judging by the progress I've made since I woke up (none) I'm thinking this hangover may keep me in bed.
Do not ever get that redhead chem major high. Gave her a magic brownie and she sat in a corner and literally cried about organic chem. Never again.
It's not a funeral, it's a celebration of life. Going commando AND braless is really just honoring him!
the man at taco bell in the drive thru window tried to sell me his mix tape
his single is called “stick some holes in it”
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