Dude...I'm drunk from Wednesday stilll.
so after the bed broke we walked out of the room to a standing ovation
Neighbors just bought a new bong. Got high with them and we decided to name it "Gary colemans sweet sugarlumps" these guys are hilarious
His drunken night ended with a "car accident" which really meant he was stuck in a toy car and pushed down the steps.
i just opened up my bathroom cabinet to get deodorant and found 4 bottles of natty. Its like the world wants me to miss this interview
i woke up in the fire place with a lighter in my hand. if i would have died the night would have made up for it.
I thought making out with his sister would be a great way of meeting him. But it backfired.
Can you come get Dustin he's putting taco bell fire sauce on cigarettes trying to light them again.
Everyone was passed out so I turned off the lights and locked all the doors. I also took the chicken sandwich in the microwave as payment.
Someone had written "Boxmonsterette" on the bathroom wall and I just knew you'd been here.
We did shots with the Tupperware consultant last night. I'd say the night was a success.
We just left the shoe. An app card to Fridays. $25 to santoras and a note that said sorry we were drunk on the front doorstep of the strip club
Did you high five my face last night?
Yes. Yes I did.
Legit sprained my cooter. No joke. Icing her down as we speak.
might I remind you I fucked a 21 year old and almost did coke with strangers? you definitely came out on top
Randomize
