the doormen always congratulate him in spanish as he walks me downstairs in the morning
you tried to arm wrestle for the title of "mom's favorite son"
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
asked the cab driver where he learned Swahili last night.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Seriously this night has "go home now before you cry, puke or scream on someone" written all over it.
Update is I am officially king of Gettysburg. Tam and I are being threaded like royakt. In bought e ruined a drink
I am so proud of him. After eating the rest of our shrooms, he finally registered to vote
I have a bruise on dick where you tried to "high five" me.
They are stoned and trying to learn sign language together. It's like watching a chimp waving at itself in a mirror.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
somehow attending a funeral viewing turned into me snorting cocaine in the bathroom and drawing ninja turtles for children
You fucked that MILF against my car!
How would you know?
She scratched her name into my window with her bigass wedding ring. btw she wants you to call her
Christopher Columbus didn't sail the ocean blue so I would have to go to class and not have sex with my boyfriend
my whole checking account just had a funeral down bourban street, paid for that, and then bought everyone 5 shots of fireball...
Whats a little naked between friends. Just don't laugh or I'll be scared for life.
We watched Purple Rain and then proceeded to have sex while listening to the album. If that's not exactly how Prince would want people to honor him, I don't know what is
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