I have a new drinking limit. I'll stop when I know I'm going to untag the picture that was just taken of me.
My parents just told me I first got drunk when I was 4. Successsssssss
No. Especially when my uncle started stripping. Too many shots. So that's where I get that from.
She bet her virginity on the Celtics. Looks like Kobe wont be the only one breaking in a new ring.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I just remember her telling me "Hi, my names Kaissa and I'm a lesbian" over and over and over and over again as I was crying.
2pm: Breaking news alert: I think I'm finally sober. Oh, and that place needs hotter strippers.
Just got physical proof that at 6 am i was running around with raw potatoes threatening to mash them on his floor. Hello, Mobile uploads
I was wondering, is there any way to hook up a lawn hose to a keg?
Bring me the dick of your room mate Alex and I will reward you in in skittles.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I let that bitch know in no uncertain terms I was taking the coke dealer in the breakup
Leave it to me to sleep w a guy who gets poison ivy on his dick
I mean, I'm shallow, narcissistic, and selfish, but I'm an amazing friend sometimes
I just unmatched him. If your Thirsty Thursday only consists on the gym then I am not the woman for you ✌🏻️
Let me just get through this whole court subpoena thing and then ill go back to buying alcohol for minors.
I woke up thinking it was Friday. I was disappointed (to say the least). I am pretty sure I have gained the quarantine fifteen (but I won’t know until I try to put something other than elastic-waisted shorts on). And I am probably going to need dentures because I am grinding my teeth so much. But hey--this is temporary, right?
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