your life is more of a joke than dina lohan.
if you\'re going to compare me please pick the classy one. Michael Lohan.
I'm having one of those days where I just want to lay in bed and beat off all day
We had sex on the hood of my car and broke the windshield.
Are you still giving blowjobs?
Who is this?
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
what are we doing this weekend?
I have enough booze to get us through Armageddon...which basically means that on Sunday we will have to make a trip to the liquor store.
I was about to smoke a bunch of weed and lay naked while I cried all day
I swear god is testing me by giving me awesome guys with tiny penises
I think the guy I was trying to dance with was an undercover cop...
Quick question: is it impolite to pause sex to put on my knee brace?
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
apparently I stole your wolf lighter. probably bc you made me howl while you puked over your deck railing.
there's cocaine on the ipad again........... was your sister here last night?
Grandpa just put 6 jello shots on his plate. My aunt tried to take them away; he flipped her off. Living in the retirement home has hardened him.
I just want to be like i dont know you but ive seen your penis & i like it
When Pitbull's songs sum up your life... you know it's time for some serious life changes.
I smell like a brewery and I have been drinking for 7 hours. This seems like a perfect time to tell my husband I want a divorce.
Randomize