Its about making memories worth repressing
you made pancakes with beer, you said they were good. then you threw up 15 minutes later
we should become lesbians. not together. just in general.
I just wished the taco bell drive thru guy a happy cinco de mayo. Who says arizonians hate mexicans?
Dude. It just hit me for a second time. My thumbs are huge and moving very quickly. Like stampeding buffalo...
Can I steal her, take her home, and feed her only vodka?
No later than 4:00 ok - I'm tying my viagra high into a superbowl halftime showstopper. Ya, you might wanna look away for that
I woke up still drunk to a beautiful tattooed columbian man making me pancakes. How's your memorial day?
I WOLD FCUK YUO INTOO THE MOON
THE MOOOOOOOON
Apparently this establishment won't let you rent a sailboat if you have been drinking rum all morning
Like, bro, how do you think I got the idea to go sailing
I had to google some of the kinky sex shit she was telling me she was into.
If that is not a reason to propose to her then I don't know what is
Still fucking the ballerina?
She can put her legs behind her head.
Enough said
You would be successful and sober without me. you can't turn your bakon me now
Love waking up to a new contact named “Pizza” btw
I woke up to find I still had sequins under my tits. I'd say Sunday was a success.
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