My Nuvaring birth control makes me queef.
Have you not heard of Jennifer's supreme lust for William Shatner? She wants to eat Taco Bell off of his love handles
there was a guy who was being paid to stand outside of Abercrombie without a shirt on... normally i would be okay with this but he was 40...
my mom just asked me, concerned, if I swallowed.
Just threw up on my desk at work. They are making me go home.
She was crying, alone at a college bar. It would have been rude NOT to try and show my penis to her.
Is there a card that says "Sorry I got drunk at your Christmas party and tried to steal your monogrammed hand towels so that I could give you something nice for Christmas"?
how was ur day?
this is strictly sexting don't make small talk.
He told me about how he pissed his pants last weekend like it was a normal part of conversation. Within 10 minutes I was going home with him. I think he put me under some kind of spell.
I gotta shower this stuff off me I'm starting to hear baby kittens in the toilet tank again..
True freedom is running around a sex club in former power plant in Berlin wearing a boots, a jock
I'm a grown ass woman, I need to get fucked
Broken leg sex is fun because I just get to lay there
Long story short I ended up getting choked out by a really hot guy in the girls bathroom at a bar last night
I don't even remember what dignity looks like anymore. I JUST WANTED TO ROAST SOME POTATOES
Randomize
