I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
After work we went home to fool around. Turns out he had sawdust under his foreskin. I'm never going down on him again.
Some bum walked up and watched me getting head last night for like 5 mins before I noticed him
You just kept yelling, "THAT'S THE POWER OF PINESOL, BABY!"
I've already made the "blackout on move in day" decision
preface to our conversation: my vagina hurts.
Maybe if he'd step up his game and get a real job instead of donating plasma and trying to grow pot then you wouldn't feel compelled to write prisoners in Oregon.
DC is easy, you will figure it out.
I'm drunk and blonde. You are wayyyy underestimating this.
Naked and Afraid: Hangover edition
Omg cinnamon bun Oreos. Thanks weed
He sent me a flaccid dick pic from the bathroom at the bar and he said I'm sorry it's not all hard and good looking. Props to him - I did ask for a pic.
I made out with 4 out of 4 girls I was out with last night, I'm pretty sure everyone knows I'm a lesbian by now
Doing shots with my high school valedictorian. Bucket list
Sometimes I get confused on who I really actually know and who's lives I just know everything about via internet. Its a fine line
No, I told him I was busy again this weekend. Eventually he’ll learn. Plus, absence makes the cock grow harder
Randomize
