So I was watching the View and they were saying oral sex is the new goodnight kiss
So when are we having a sleepover?
he was actually really polite. he asked before he came on my chest because he "wasn't sure my stance on it".
I was just texting to see if your vagina was working yet.
she won't take no for an answer... no matter what language i said it in
Please get rnbert tn get chebk h'm in i'm no dead when he getr gome
Remind me again why sleeping with a coworker and his wife would be a terrible idea.
We were thinking he might be gay. Like how the fuck do you not even make out with a girl that made you a grilled cheese
My sister hid me from my parents, brought me a bloody mary, and told my girlfriend I was out with my dad. For 13, I got to say she's working out pretty good.
Do you want the fat one with an ok face or the skinny ugly one?
It doesn't matter as long as our shame is in tandem.
We were coming but I found wine on my way out the door.
I farted in his bed and then in my drunken stupor grabbed hair defanging spray to cover up the stench.
Too stoned. Randomly can't get the image of Emilio estevez's smiling face out of my head. What is life.
You can get gift cards to the liquor store! This changes everything.
Well you’re enrolled in an Ivy League grad school and I’m currently at a 2 star holiday inn in rural PA so who is really thriving here
u ever get horny for food. i ordered a bunch of crepes and its doin it 4 me
Randomize
