I see an opportunity for you to use your nakedness to cure my boredom.
I never thought that I'd ever use the phrase "and the resulting ice cream explosion" seriously at work...
So I was just looking through the calendar on my phone seeing what day new years was on & on dec 31st at 9am it says "nude champagne toast". Guess we have to do it.
I went to the gas station and the lady goes I remember you. Broken sunglasses and puke on your car.
Someone fucked up, the stop Kony day is on 4/20,
he's the second guy to suck on my nipple in front of my friends that i haven't made out with.
my vagina is like this close to growling at me and leading me onto the nearest dance floor
make it buy you a drink first
He's easy on the eyes, light on his feet, and rough in bed...what more could a girl ask for in a rebound?
I'm full of champagne and rage, of course I'm showing up at his house.
I DMed the cop that arrested me to come unlock my keys out if my car today
Come over. And we'll put iced coffee in the bong.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
Apparently calling shotgun while getting put into a police car is frowned upon
Please come over. It's a pajama and burn-2016-in-effigy party
Smoking weed with a blind guy, don't worry he's chill.
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