Yeah I guess I was Pocahontus. If she were a trifling drunk who hung out in her undies, with possible brain damage.
i woke up this morning to a slap on the ass and jake saying "you should let me put it in your ass now" i need out of this relationship.
for sure. did you let him do it?
thats not the point.
her vagina probably looks like a grenade went off in a deli
I hope my sperm were as drunk as I was.
wanna play who's drunker? I just made macaroni & cheese taco and offered it to the pizza Guy as a tip.
She walked in on her brother jacking off and she hasn't been the same since. She's been crying and shaking non-stop. It's been two weeks.
I just want him to come back from NOLA alive, without an arrest record or stripper glitter on his clothes...
Those seems like unreasonable expectations for a bachelor party honestly...
the 5 D's of Dodgeball literally just saved my life
also my alarm just went off. I am always amused at what time drunk me decides to wake up.
I wouldn't call us friends exactly. Honestly I just hang out with him so I can hit on his girlfriend. They won't last long, and I'll be there to pick up the scraps
Bring beers. The password is "I brought beers" but you can't come in if you're a liar
I'm totally picking out my shrooming outfit and blankets right now
I just found a baklava I forgot I got last night so we can call it a day
Sex. Target parking lot. I really am the mayor.
The bartender remember my drink from last sat. I think we just became drocals...drunk. locals.
Randomize
