ready 4 sex 2nite?
wow. woo me matt, woo me.
she's naming her girl london marie
that kid will be born with a tramp stamp
Just went to my life planning class. The professor has a braid going halfway down his back and an earring.
I can't believe you made out with me with a french fry in your mouth.
he is so annoying
so stop sleeping with him
yeah but he is so hot when i'm drunk
you grabbed the waitors dick and yelled '2nd base' and then he gave you his number. I hate your life.
You were sad because he was "taking it out on the plant"
Dude. Apparently I just smoked some stuff that's used for Nigerian spirit quests.
"Home for the holidays" isn't clearance to fuck the recently 18 year old high schooler right?
Nope, his last birthday was.
Decided in my tanked state last night purchase 2 weeks worth of xanax, so I can guess my way thru this week and finals. Soberly, I decided it would be a great way to test my knowledge of finance.
You know you're a fat kid when you've spent half the day having a twitter conversation with Pizza Hut.
I puked up my nose. THAT kind of night
you should never start the day with a boob text. It can only go downhill from there
Just a couple of adults talking about cum shots at 8am on presidents day
On a scale of 1-10 how inappropriate is it for me to ask if Walgreens offers teacher discounts when purchasing a Plan B pill?
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