By getting ready I mean putting baby powder in my hair and possibly changing my pajamas to another pair of pajamas
I don't talk to her anymore. I lit her birthday presents on fire. Who the fuck puts candles that close to tissue paper?
Fuck. I just got my nipple tweaked by a plus size drag queen in a purple dress. I feel like I got molested by Grimace.
Can we ask the Hungry Howie's guy to pick up some blunt wraps on the way over?
I was informed last night that im not allowed to pick up the bouncers and carry them around anymore. Last sat is starting to make more sense
Apparently you can coat check a keg.
I sent him pictures of just me in my thong and he replied "you're so sweet, you make me feel special <3".... Oh.
Well despite the fact that I'm still not entirely sure this isn't an elaborate/cunning plan to kill me, I'm in.
Whore are you.
Is that a Yoda insult or are you asking me where I am?
Yes.
Sometimes I just want to serenade his penis with cheesy 80s songs.
Oh god now he thinks I'm into him because I've been staring at him trying to figure out what animal he looked like
I think I fucked someone on the flight home last night.
Turns out end of the world sex is H-O-T, HOoot! I'll be the only progressive lady smiling today
I've come to the conclusion, I should prob have at least 20 hr supervision. I would say 24, but I'm guaranteed to pass out for at least 4 hrs a day
Dude it's unhealthy how much I love vagina in my face
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