Astroglide: It's like Bengay for your ass.
Watching Blossom reruns on YouTube. Eating Pringles dipped in hot chocolate. Not taking this breakup well.
Clusterfucked is a frowned upon word in work related emails
I made mike pull over so I could lay in the grass. He made me get up cuz I looked dead and people were passing. It was like 6:30am.
It hurts to peel the glue off my chest and i keep finding glitter in my hair.
I just wanted to decorate you...
I have to talk to myself and be all "you are NOT horny tonight"
Ong my arms are moving wo my consent
I can't in good conscience help you bag a Catholic girl who isn't at least a 7.
Your girlfriend is in jail- I've just never been able to use that in a sentence before. Thank you both!
I can't figure out if I'm dying from all of the booze still in my system, or from the cement wall.
On another note- any interest in going to a gay bar to hit on 19yr olds?
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
It isn't easy. I met him at the gym. He wanted to go out he doesn't drive so I drove and he wanted Dairy Queen where his sister is the manager. This is dating in my 20's
I apparently lifted the young child over my head yelling "Victory!" after that last game of pool, right before doing some Girls Just Wanna Have Fun karaoke.
I was asked to be part of a mmf threesome. I think I'd rather stay home, watching Orange is the New Black and cuddle with my cat though
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