I hate u. Im listening to lady gaga and all i can hear is boca base om om om ommmm
Cops are here now. U need to come back. Ur not under arrest. But u need to apologize to the woman for what you did to her cat.
You stood in front of a yellow Camaro and kept yelling at it to "Transform already!!!!".. yeah, I'd say you were pretty wasted.
and thats when we got a drunken mammogram in the middle of cvs pharmacy
JUST SAW MY DRUG DEALER SOBER AND GOING TO CLASS. This is weird, its almost like he's an actual student whio leaves his room...
Wanna go watch Transformers and scream "AMERICA!"? I need a no thought activity
I told him that he was essentially a very life-like dildo with a person attached so he needed to stop having feelings because it was getting annoying. He agreed.
I'm gonna give him birthday punches. On the dick. With my mouth.
can we for just one second remember that I played with a homeless man's rat at st marks?
Oh man, are we repeating last 4th of July?!
That shouldn't even be a question, it's a tradition now. Hope your manhood is ready.
Could you imagine living in a city where bartenders are available by 1:30 AM
I'd have like 4 kids by now and at least one std
There must be a happy medium universe where you get it on with my girlfriend enough to cause me pain but not a full on cardiac arrest. It's a fine line to tread though.
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
He fucked me in his tour van, I feel like an official groupie.... Except I don't even listen to his band.
God knew I'd have horrible taste in men, so made me asexual to ensure I'd never fuck them.
Randomize
