I think your mom looks like a breed of donkey and elephant, but her boobs are perfect
Me liking this guy is the best diet ever. Do I want this cookie...or do I want to get laid.
if i died would you start the facebook group?
Is being a pregnant whore worse than an average one?
im proctoring the SATs right now and im still drunk from last night. i really wanna tell these kids that this fucking test doest mean shit and they will just be constantly drunk once in college.
eating kraft dinner with my face. no forks.
I like my landing strip. Makes me feel sophisticated.
What you did last night can never be called sophisticated. I don't care how you trim your pubes.
Sometimes I love sober logical me. She makes rare appearances but when she does she shines.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
I just wanna get hammered somewhere crazy. Meet some chicks. Bang them and then go scuba diving.
Are you doing that thing where you're convinced I made a terrible decision
Daily.
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Somewhere on my work laptop I have a map visualizing all the area codes that Ludacris has ho's
I hope that wasn't done on billed time
I can guarantee that it was
My mom just used the chap stick I used right after giving him a blow job. I am a horrible daughter :(
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