I feel like I'm in dance class right now
My dad hugged me and said I love u. I'm glad I didn't pull out that night.
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
why do all canadians talk like horny gerbils are stuck in their throats?
Telling me its the beginning of school is like telling me the crown royal fairy has come back from vacation.
You've got the short couch unless you find some girl to take you home
Challenge accepted.
I'm gonna need you to NOT let me play duck duck goose with three racoons in the middle of the street next time.
I vaguely remember having a cowboy explain his belt buckle to me in the bathroom hallway
I just had my first boner in 64 days today....glad to find out my fluids are still pumpin
I think I'm still a little drunk from Sunday Funday and I just changed for a date in my car. wish me luck.
It's like a double rainbow in both sides of the sky mixed with The Jeffersons.
It's that whole "half Japanese, half asshole" thing. My brother and I have found that people really go for that
I broke my foot jumping out of YOUR window under YOUR watch. You failed me drunk guardian. You failed.
Fyi, shaking your genitals at me doesn't count as "trying to have sex".
I don't know. I'm drunk and dressed as a pirate but ill do the math tomorrow morning.
Randomize
