she was left over bi-product, like the hotdog of the human race
The ratio was 19 to 1 and the 1 was lauren so it didn't even count.
i think i scared a bird with my dick
Just had sex with a girl from Italy. The only english she knew was Obama campaign slogans. Her screaming, "Yes we can!" as I was railing her not only turned me on but allowed my neighbors to know it was consentual.
I don't know what the fuck is in the water in New Hampshire, but these dicks are HUGE.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
He was going down on me and raised up for a minute, slipped and punched me in the face. My lady boner left immediately.
We are going all out this weekend. My liver is already smiling.
He gave me such a powerful orgasm I blurted out I love you. This is why just rebouding out of a serouis relationship is awkward.
Oh dude, thanks for giving me that liquor last night, except replace 'giving' with 'violently forcing'.
I don't care how stoned you are, I'm not driving to a different state for a burrito
Don't mind me. My boyfriend is carrying me because I'm broken not because I'm drunk.
It's not even 9:30 yet..
I wonder if the fact that I'm listening to the theme from lion king gives my neighbors the impression that im tripping faceeeee
Less than a month to graduation and I'm still blacking out on the reg tonguing down the closest breathing organism preferably with a penis but I'm flexible, and still havent figured out how to be functional on Fridays. WHY don't they teach us valuable shit at this institution!?
This late night dumpster diving sesh is making my quads cramp up
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