Like all of my pajamas are shirts of guys I shacked with in college
i bet even starving children in Africa take the crust off their poptarts
Has anyone ever told you you're majestic like a sea turtle when you fuck?
And your cock privileges have been revoked.
I am the slutty bisexual glue that holds this friendship group together.
The last thing I remember was you puking all over the inside of my door and him yelling "PUKING RALLY!!!"
dude throwing a golf cart off a pier is harder than it seems!
I have to shower first, I forgot I peed on my feet last night...
When my mom found out he was a high school drop out she was like "seriously? Can we raise the bar a little higher next time kels?" So my moms pretty cool
GOOD MORNING. Have you seen the Avenger vibrators?
he pushed me in the lake knowing full well I had joints on me. that's drug-abuse!!
Idk I wanna make it till midnight but I also want tequila
I figured if he was OK cheating on his gf with a guy, he'd be OK with me posting his number to m4m Craigslist Ads
She was pretty impressed that I led all thirty of us back to campus in my state of drunk. Evidently so impressed that she now refers to me as "Moses" in bed.
Last time I was blackout at Cowbells I was running around screaming “WHERES THE BLOOOWWWW”
I'm so sorry for trying to eat your puzzle last night...
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