Plan B is the new Plan A
when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
I'm getting the same feeling waiting for the web-page to load that has my final grades that I get when I take a pregnancy test. I think I'm gonna leave my computer for 3 minutes.
watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
Just saw the hottest 4 garbage men ever. They should make a calendar
We could make it a date. Dinner and a show. The show being my nipples getting pierced.
His fuck buddy just got fake tits and wants him to 'come break them in.' I need his life.
As shirtless as possible
I should have known our good time had gone to shit when his ankle bracelet started flashing.
So I met my girlfriends dad last night. Or should I say I re-met that mall cop that had to tackle me.
At one point I was waiting in line for the port o potties and a storm trooper came out of one and sprayed me in the face with a water gun
Like that actually happened I wasn't hallucinating
In other news, people don't judge you when you buy a vibrator if you buy a funny birthday card and bag with it. I learned that this weekend.
I'm so happy for you. But I still have to shave because a woman has needs and this woman needs an orgasm.
i'm drinking soco out of a mickey mouse cup right now. i love it when college and my childhood meet in the middle.
Apparently walking into a national conference and proclaiming "i'm here to fuck shit up" is frowned upon.
Who knew?
Randomize
