Oh just a soda. I'm "driving"
"you've got the devil in yuh. the curse of Jesus is coming on your sex soon." That's what a homeless guy just told me.
So i just bought beer on a credit card, using a fake ID, while wearing my nametag from work. All 3 have different names on them. God i love my boobs.
how did we ever eat at restaurants where they DIDNT squirt-gun tequila in our mouths?
On a scale of 1 to last weekend, how hungover are you?
his profile picture is a blurry one of him holding a beer. i recognized him instantly.
I just ran up four flights of stairs in heels, im getting an orgasm tonite.
In the library. Still drunk. Shoes missnig. Term paper due in fiften minutes. Iff I puke u think theyll throw me out?
I wasn't so much your wingman at that point as I was the interpreter of you point at shit and mumbling to the cab driver.
Sorry for screaming that you were an apple in spanish at the bar last night, that was the wine talking
Having vodka and cokes for lunch at work today because absolutely ZERO fucks are being given.
I found a half composed text to you this morning and all it said was HELP M. Is that how I ended up at the bottom of the stairwell in only a tee-shirt and one heel?
considering I never received the text I would go with 'yes'.
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
I'm sitting naked on my bathroom floor and it remind me of us.
That's my way of saying I miss you
He started out in my roommates bed and by the end of the night was in mine, not sure how that went down. But he left happy in the morning.
Randomize
