Tell her she can't have a vagina
Liz and I are now offficially highest. OH, and your girlfriend may be a vampire. Heads up. SPARKLESSSSS
Put my glitter back.
I should be sponsored by Trojan
I have a feeling she doesn't appreciate me as a person. She only fucks me because I look like Harry Potter.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Btw before you ask, the dr said there's no way shoving his dick that far down my throat is why i got laryngitis
He broke hus nose arm jousting with the traffic cones... We need to make head shots illegal or get helmets or something
I don't think it counts as a walk of shame when it's someone you've wanted for 4 years. That's mission accomplished.
It's isn't revenge sex until you've cum on her porcelain doll collection.
I can pinpoint my loss of innocence as the moment I started masturbating with my teddy bears
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Body paints and jello. Your canvas awaits
Another sexterpiece awaits
He's like all my past boyfriends wrapped up into one fuck up. It's enjoyable to watch.
My uterus feels like it went 8 rounds with Mike Tyson. And that was only a quickie.
I can insert a female catheter, but I cannot grill a cheese.
Here's an unsolicited pic of my tits, because you almost died last night.
I know I may be showing my age by saying this but this is the first time I have been eaten out in the parking lot behind the Clairmont Inn since 1990
Randomize