Whats up?
Drunk as a mother trucker with panties on her thumbnail..laying thee down
Stay up. I'm coming home in a little
Ill try..hurry!!!! Thine hour awaits you
I lost my shoes and bra and was beyond mapquesting
The money shot is kinda like the "The End" part of a children's book isn't it?
you announced to the whole room that instead of shaving you were planning to start straightening and then braiding your pubes. awkward silence followed by everyone leaving.
I got vodka in my stocking. Having an alcoholic mom has paid off.
after last nights cooking expirments i have lost all faith in the fire alarm battery
She just told me she blew the waiter in the bathroom. Should I still leave a tip?
You guys better make it up to the cabin in time for mud wrestling on Saturday. I'm not kidding. You know when I joke, and now is not one of those times.
I think he's having people over to watch him get way too drunk again
I like literally had a visual image of his penis going into your soul
I just farted and its sounded like it was disappointed in me.
Btw had an awesome time last night. Found some blood on my shirt and ear but I'll chalk it up to the tequila shots.
So, I without a doubt haven't used the bag I'm now carrying since we were dating. Just had to discreetly throw out an unopened magnum in a bus station.
Charles Manson is Getting Married and I stare down at my tits and wonder how I am possibly single.
Officially the best daughter ever. I just restocked my parents alcohol that I stole last night AND ADDED TO IT
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