walked into the kitchen nd asked my mom what smells like tuna she replies" your sister" now i cant eat tuna...EVER!!!
They should make a Rosetta Stone that allows men to understand what the fuck women are actually trying to say.
Just washed my feet between classes in the bathroom...Four girls totally judged me...
Dude, she knew her leg was on fire and she kept dancing. Bad-fucking-ass.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Dude dan is so baked he taped his remote to the futon so he couldn't lose it again. Come over here
i do some of my deepest thinking on my wednesday morning walks of shame
He looked at me and said "Last call" before putting his penis away into his boxers
Is it bad to get into the ocean at night? i always thought sharks hated the smell of vomit after drinking
you should be careful. everyone knows your chances of pregnancy increase by 100 percent when youre the daughter of a religious figure
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
There's a homeless man outside the bar. I have a toothbrush and toothpaste in my car. I think i'm going to give them to him. And they said drinking is bad.
You're so thoughtful.
She was moaning so loud as i walked out of the room her roommates gave me a standing ovation... i think they are next
I have full custody of my vagina however you are granted visiting hours
I know, I know. But we've discussed my friends and appropriate social behaviour, and I'm pretty sure topless karaoke was a no-no.
A stripper choked me last night. Then I choked her. Now we're going on a date this Saturday.
My father has a definite type: blonde, busty, 18-22. It was awkward when I was in college, but now I'm over it. I play wingman for him and he buys me expensive purses for the assistance in getting him hooked up with girls younger than me. Win-win.
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