Just saw my gyno in public. Weird to see her hands outside of my vagina.
I believe that I finger-banged my way to the top of the corporate ladder.
I told her I was horny and she said to forget it because she has vagina drama.
WHAT IN THE HELL IS VAGINA DRAMA?!
Just dropped $150 at the liquor store. No power and two feet of snow has taken my alcoholism to another level.
I'm not saying he has herpes, I'm just saying he slept with my friend that has herpes.
I think I just agreed to be an escort for an Asian guy who's gonna be in the city next weekend before he moves back to Shanghai...
Or maybe my penis is just the key to their locked boxes of crazy, and I unleash their wrath upon all of mankind just so I can get my nut off
His idea of role playing was him wearing the halloween mitt romney mask while I gave him head
mhmm. we know where to go, which places have free bathrooms, how long you can be in one until its sketchy, we have this down to a science. we're like the college sophomore pregaming dream team
Never thought I would be taunted by little kids about my walk of shame
Let me know. Show me one boob if yes. 2 if no
Went out with the family last night and some 40 yr old lady wanted to take me home. My mom was not happy with me
I crawled to the bathroom this morning there were cornpops scattered on the floor? What was I doing last night?
Dude, no, you tried to sleep on the stove. I mean. You were pissed when I stopped you... but I couldn't have you catching on fire in my house.
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
