did you know that the clit is basically just a tiny penis? Ya.. So just think about that next time you're down there.
all we did was drink wine and talk about how people who dont have facebook dont exist.
Relationship's official after skype sex--college kid at his finest.
I made two strippers play rock paper scissors to see who would give me a lap dance last night
Turns out I wasn't throwing up blood, I just threw up so hard it ripped my tonsils. Thank you Jameson.
Dude, I think someone on your skype account may have seen me beat off. I used your computer and didnt realize you were still signed in. Please tell me no one was on...
Its like the unofficial aniversary of the loss of her virginity. And I will be giving tours of the spot they did it in and showing how I'm serious when I say the grass doesn't grow there anymore.
He sent me a limp picture of his penis with the caption " same ol, same ol' I cant believe these are the type of guys I sleep with
You went over didnt you?
Does it make me immature that I debated going to this baby shower stoned, or am I normal as shit and everyone our age are having babies too young?
Idk man, most things I eat are even better than I expected. Like when I drunkenly put mac and cheese on a slice of cheese pizza or when I soberly put mac and cheese into a Taco Bell burrito.
Like I actually don't feel all that great but the fact that I'm not projectile vomiting at work makes life seem so magical
And I'm sorry for punching you in the face when I drunkenly threw my sandwich
I think "we've never met sober" is a great relationship to have with someone
He just blew a .079. Jesus loves him THAT much.
I just folded my laundry and I washed 3 pairs of underwear and 6 jizz towels. Clearly I'm quarantining right.
Randomize
