I found out 2day that my dad was a stripper in New Oleans.
I'm thinking of having one or both of my boobs out. They're small but they're mighty.
so her cute freckles turned out to be blackheads
He just randomly started talking about Haiti and Conan O'Brien and his grandpa's hip replacement operation. It was the worst phone sex I've ever had.
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I drunkenly sent a picture of my scrotum to the entire baseball team last night
You know what sound is wonderful for a hangover? Listening to the horns from the South Africans at the world cup
is it too early in the day to continue our conversation about penis shapes?
And then she apologized after the blow job for being too sick to deep throat. I'm in love..
Staying in I think. Boyfriend has domesticated me. I'm making eggs naked right now. Also really high.
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I just wrote "where Jason is" on the screen. He guessed "hospital" correctly.
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
For an hr, you were convinced you no longer had a right arm so you played Super Mario Bros with just your left hand vs Beth. You won btw, mite b why she refused to wear the unicorn head
Congrats. You made me have an orgasm in Starbucks.
Tell him that his phone is taped to the dog's stomach. Stop trying to call it because it makes him scared.
You'll probably laugh but I am currently in bed in the fetal position wrapped in only my ninja turtles towel. Save me.
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