I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
apparently i found nail polish and started playing a game i made up called "paint a nail, do a shot"
I hate nights where "I found my underwear" can be considered a victory.
The movie was so bad she gave me two blowjobs. Two.
The freshman next to me just said "I was rocking out on my way here to Dave Matthews..." I wish I would have passed this class the first time.
beyond obliterated. i recall legitimately trying to use a ballpoint pen as eyeliner.
I wore my front clasp bra so he would have to prove his sobriety to me before we had sex.
He said he wouldn't use a condom because he didn't want to kill anymore trees.
This makes me miss penis. Not in a horny way... but in a sad, sentimental way.
I look like slutty woodland creatures dress me in the morning. Everybody's got problems.
Neil John just started open mouth kissing everyone to make sure they are safe.
It got heated then she just left and I was all alone in the women's restroom.
Our DD painted my costume on me for tonight. The strippers have been teaching him how to paint costumes.
Woke up to the frozen soundtrack blasting in the living room best one night stand ever
He sang a ten minute song about me sitting on his face and eating quesadillas. Pretty sure I have to marry him.
Randomize