Ur dog is a babe magnet. Reminds me of me
Your dad touched me again.
last night i used 411 to try and contact britney spears.
dollar well spent
This is why I'm not putting my name in lights over your bed.
I bet him anal if they won...the one time Detroit decides to win, it had to be this week
Last awkward moment of 2011: your ex gf grinding on me in front of her husband.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
Highlight of the night was you walking into the men's room yelling "My husband is diabetic" and crawling under the stall to yell at me.
If you've never yelled, "fuck you ray Lewis" in front of your 87 year old grandfather you haven't lived
I heard you coughing. Are you choking or smoking? And are you okay?
Just introduced myself to a group of people and one dude said "You're Marc!? I've heard many a legend of you." I raised bottle of champagne, said cheers, and drank with them.
He came back with a Butterfinger and vibrator batteries. There's no refusing him now.
It was great. Somehow, sleeping with her sister cured everything!
I made out with that lesbian chick for a blunt. NO REGRETS.
He lives in a tent in my ex'd backyard. Why the fuck would you want any of that dirty dick?
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