lol you are funny thanks bro I'll take you to a strip club
I don't wanna go to a strip club I'd rather get my boobs free or earn them from a series of good deeds
Ha! What's wrong with that? Hard work deserves compensation. I accept cash, checks, and boobies!
when i say i joined a midget dating site why do u assume i was drunk
I just got hit by a car and apologized to the driver. I asked him if he was okay.
are you serious?? is your clit as sensitive as your emotions
i wish
it was like weight watchers had a halloween party.
Nope it's him. He's whispering to himself and buying asparagus.
I am currently listening to someone take a shit. I hate the hole in the ceiling.
We are going to be Siegfried and Roy for Halloween and you are going to be the tiger.
3 for 3 on getting girls who say "yolo" at the bar to have anal. Not the motto I live by, but it has changed my life.
Erry day erry day!
I dreamt of sea otters and your boobs. My two favorite things.
Seeing your one night stand on campus never gets less awkward. Why is Subway the only good place to eat?
idk. a stripper just bit me. I'm so disoriented
I just got the two most enjoyable things in life in one... Weed delivered in bubble wrap.
I don't give a shit if you judge. This isn't about you or anyone else. This is about me and my chicken tenders.
I am high playing guitar hero naked. Please don't let me die this way
Randomize
