There were 3 chicks in my bed I didn't know when I got home. Now I know all of them. Biblically.
So I've been drinking and I told the bf about the gf he almost fell of his chair
I'm gonna write a book, Things that go bump in the night: The story of Katelyn. Chapter one, my roommate is a dumb whore.
I hate to say it, but I think my pandora being Marvin Gaye love songs was the prime reason for the bj last night
yo everyone went to the hospital last night
Question: does the slut gene come from the mother or the father? im trying to figure out who to blame.
I feel bad for the next person that's gonna live in my room. There's so much semen on the carpet
You fought the bouncer and lost, then challenged a hobo to a 40 chugging contest and lost. Sobriety is a good life choice.
Logically he should not be walking around...after that fall he should be in a hospital in a medically induced coma
You know what I realized today? That my biggest regret of freshman year was ditching you and that foam party to have a one night stand with a skinny jean wearing vocal major.
I am concerned for your priorities but also really flattered. Flattery wins
I'm trying to puke quietly so i don't ruin my grandma's birthday/my graduation brunch. And you say i need to grow up.
fuck you I'm eating salad I can't be drunk.
My name will be tattooed on his ass by sunday.
Drinking at 10 in the morning and swimming might not be the best idea I've ever had but it beats working
I am going as Rudolph for the Christmas Eve furry orgie.
Is Santa taking the sleigh of slutty reindeer around the neighborhood again this year.
Yes. Several neighbors have requested it.
Randomize
