new call of duty comes out in november. guess im not passing my finals
He freaked out when I started to orgasm. He said he never knew girls could orgasm too.
you know it's bad when you need sunglasses to open the refrigerator
Walk-of-shaming home from Brooklyn in a Jesus costume that has "what wouldn't Jesus do" written on the robe.
Things you owe me: a sober apology, $12, the removal of bbq sauce from my doorknob
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Please come back. She just stuck her bloody band-aid to Zach's face, has a fire extinguisher, and is talking about tornados hiding.
I would have done it. But then again I am a starving student who can manipulate my brain into thinking my decision was somehow morally justifiable.
I like making it seem like it's at least a little bit difficult to hook up with me
When you're awkward as a teenager, it never goes away. You just mask it. With makeup. And boobs.
That guy is like a clown car of sexy. Just when I think I've seen it all, THERE'S MORE.
AND SOME IN THE TRUNK.
Telling the family you're going for a run, getting dressed in workout clothes, and then walking halfway around the block and smoking a joint. This is my life
So as a result of a tragic manscaping accident I've had to shave all the hair off of my legs. The result is... not great
I'm graduating college in 4 days. I already miss the bad decisions
Do you think they'll deliver pizza to my mouth
Randomize
