it was the worst sex ever in the history of sex. i mean ever. and he thought he was great. actually told me he was the best id ever had...what was i supposed to say? lol...i've had better times by myself. seriously.
K, im just throwing this out there, i am not making out with any of his friends... Especially the cross eyed one.
forecast for tonight is alcohol, low standards and poor decisions.
I think I sharted a yagerbomb.
So after your 27th or so beer, you gave me songs you want to have used if you're ever on intervention.
I puked in the AC vent. thing are gonna get ugly come summertime.
I'm way too horny to be at work right now. I think it might be legally irresponsible to leave me alone with cucumbers.
Hah, I lost the lenses in my glasses, didn't event notice til this morning... How was the meeting?
There's always time for handjobs
I know you`re my best friend, but when i wake up with this bad of a hangover and no memories of last night, i dont want to see your tits ad my background.
This election needs to be over, im tired of girls asking who im going to vote for mid hookup
Oh and someone pissed in my shoes, so I'll let you figure that out.
i just had to pick up my 18 year old cousin from the police station for hosting a party, and i had to do this stoned wow
Honestly, I want an afternoon of mild abuse, mixed with face fucking and general molestation that turns in love making, laughter and cinnamon toast crunch naked in bed.
dude, he literally lasted one minute. and i paid 8 dollars for cabs.
Randomize
