I just google mapped his house on satellite so i can really see how much money he has. Does that make me shallow?
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
I just got a bj @ my old preschool...my childhood memories r all ruined
It's 11am on 4/20 and I'm already in urgent care.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
I was wasted and the time changed. I blame the male strippers.
I feel so nauseous and all I want is string cheese. My life never makes sense.
I also got a mission for you and you're gonna love it. Biggest. Hospital. Party. Ever.
You also thought the cure to hiccups was drowning yourself (and you were right)
Lack of response to this text gains you a half hour of freedom before I initiate operations to conclude you are not, in fact, comatose. You requested no mercy.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Maybe he injected his testicle?
I was in a competition with shots tonight...shots won.
To celebrate the holidays this evening, I will be replying “FUCK YOU” to all my spam emails. Can’t tell you how excited I am
he said he couldn't believe he just lost his virginity and passed out. what have i done
All I remember is being in the middle of the road puking and my bestfriend cheering me on from the passenger seat...
Randomize