there is no way i'm buying plan b and condoms at the same time
no do it! it shows that you acknowledge your mistakes and you are proactively working towards a solution.
Hooking up with him would mean my type has officially become... drug dealer.
this lesbian fantasy crush is getting WAY out of hand. just spent an entire meeting staring at her long fingers thinking, "oh those could be fun"
I have acquired 14 pictures of hard dicks tonight... I was on a mission. Don't even pretend you aren't proud.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Makers Mark. Chicken nuggets in a blender. Smart
Ok, it's starting to sound like someone's out there trying to learn to play the trombone while breaking kitchenware.
A girl told me I was her "alcohol spirit animal" tonight. Somehow I think my whole life was secretly building up to this moment
Remember when we were coked out at that house and we were trying to meditate in the bathroom? Who's house were we at?
Go christen that room with your naked body.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
He won't leave and I need to take a shit and vomit, quite possibly at the same time.
I'm to the point of desperation where I stare at customers penis imprints through their pants all day
I kept screaming that he looked like Khal Drogo and rode around the bar on his back.
Have you ever wanted to murder the Sun? To bring the life-giving fusion reactor to a bitter end because of the sheer agony it brings to your eyes as it keeps you awake. And for waking the birds. Fuck birds.
What's the blow job-backrub exchange rate these days? I've got some killer stress knots
Got any extra dick over there? I’m running low
Randomize