Ridin mah bike see you on the moon
He came and then made the Jim Halpert face. does that say disappointment or what
Her thighs are so strong. I thought my head was gonna get crushed when I was eating her out
Woke up in an unfamiliar pair of underwear, running shoes but no socks, and a cowboy hat. Thank you crown royal
BEST FEELING EVER: Standing in a hot fucking shower, while super baked, while eating a cookie.
You eat cookies in the shower?
Any chance you used one if the curtain rods in the fireplace room as a sword? One is missing
BECKY! ITS ANDY FROM LAST NIGHT WITH THE PILL
Andy, Sorry you have the wrong number. But good luck with Becky!
Will you be my therapist? I don't want to tell me secrets to a strange person and be judged all over again when you have already taken the time to do it. Oh and I will pay you with alcohol
i've created a new STD.
In related news... Actually, nope. I don't have any orgy-related news. You win.
I should come with a disclaimer that reads "bad at relationships and defensive when confronted about it"
or maybe "WARNING: picks fights when bored"
You rope them in with the looks and the boobs, and I'll bore them into submission with random trivia. We can't lose.
Life goal: sit on his perfect beautiful David Archuleta-lookalike face
Put a Santa hat on my junk. He's wants to be festive too.
Bootycalls can't go limp that's like against the law
Randomize
