idk why but i just wanna to have sex with the idea of him. i don't even wanna meet him.
Last night I fell down in the street (I think in someone's vomit), cut my knee up, lost my moms necklace and my license, and had to walk back to the hotel.
I would describe it as pure and unadulterated shock, mixed with horror and a touch of nausea.
I had his cock in my mouth and he still wouldn't shut up about Star Wars.
He was a bulldog and my face was like rare meat. Never again with the drunken ones.
So, do you ever feel like EVERY SINGLE ONE OF YOUR FRIENDS IS INVOLVED IN A MASSIVE AND INTRICATE CONSPIRACY TO COCKBLOCK YOU AT ALL COSTS?
I can't wait for round whatever # we're on tonight.
Well, I want to see you regardless of whether or not you will lick whipped cream off my body.
It's not even like I care. He was cute 30lbs ago and before he fucked that Michael Jackson look alike.
I've woke up in his bed 4 out of the past 6 mornings. I feel like this might be the time to learn more about him then his first name and what kind of beer he drinks.
Can we just discuss how hundreds of miles away we were both beyond drunk and in some boys bed. That is the definition of friendship.
who orders an old fashioned in 2014? even my Grandparents think you're an asshole.
I would give a kidney to fuck him and he knows it. That bastard.
You kept singing "your gonna lose that girl" to him right in front of her.. of course you got punched in the face.
at the time fanning him with a dish tray seemed like a good idea but when we found it buried in the dirt the next morning i questioned our judgement. needless to say he still threw up even with the extra breeze.
Randomize
