It was like a spaceship landed and 1000s of hipsters filled up the park
took acid and went on safebus. all the lights were off except the adds. swear to god it was a submarine
I'm fucking him on the second date. I don't give a fuck what Patti Stanger says.
My girlfriend was pissed, so if I had to guess, i'd say I had a GREAT time last night
Just a heads up, i'm sleeping in te back seat of your car so don't be freaked out when you see me in the A.M.
I woke up this morning at 8 to my roommates still drunk, hanging out on the roof, and screaming at bikers. They couldn't figure out why they were into it.
I texted him that I wanted to be more than fuck buddies so when I came over he gave me a punch card. He takes me I dinner every 10 fucks.
I get that he's ugly and I deserve better but I will still beat up the girls he hangs out with.
We fucked to the rythmn of the thunder, it was magical
I don't understand why your family and sex lives should EVER overlap.
Yeah. I asked if there was a finger in my ass at some point or if I had a weird dream. So far he hasn't responded
That's right. I just LL Cool J'ed you up in this bitch. Zero fucks.
I'm eating a bagel on the toilet and watching porn. Trust me, I've got my priorities straight.
Are you alive? Cause this is my official "im actually alive" text.
Found someone cuddling with my Uggs this morning. Guess the hundred pillows laying next to him weren't good enough.
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