when I scratched it gently some sort of watery looking stuff came out...so then I just stopped thinknig about it.
Say "Steve Buscemi is hot." with a straight face.
At the bar. Guy comes up wearing a hollister shirt and says "lets blow this popsicle stand"
You fucking left with him didn't you?!
is facebook stalking your hot therapist socially acceptable?
You force fed me chocolate chips and avocados for 3 hours and kept asking me about my trip to sweden when I was 4.
So apparently I threw a potted plant at a clown last night and told him to get his life together.
My entire summer has consisted of being too drunk for this shit, too sober for this shit, or too hungover for this shit.
My goal this weekend is to get a number that goes with the penis I take him.
Aspirations
Did you put pizza in my boxers last night?
I left you 4 hours ago. Have you been walking around with shit in your pants all day?
hooked up with someone last night while wearing walrus pajama pants. clearly I'm accomplishing big things in life
I'm putting his belongings the garage sale so he can buy his own stuff back. # divorced life. Thanks for cheating on me you tone deaf dick biscuit that'll be $20. Haha.
I walked in on him pumping himself up by headbanging to the drumbeat from Jumanji.
I'm sorry I've been mean recently but tbh it really turns me on seeing you cry so it might happen a lot..... You're a pretty crier I don't get it
how does that bad decision feel?
It's not just going to appear. A lot of blood, sweat, tears, and leg work went into finding a cock that amazing!
Randomize
