I knocked on some strangers door, you didn't have to give me a fake hotel room number
My body isn't even mad at me...just disappointed
Drunk in my research methods class at 9:30 in the morning. We should do a quantitative analysis of my mimosa consumption.
I am both scared and jealous.
Can I sell my birth control in a yard sale?
I demanded respect from my fuck buddy. Drunk me is not fun.
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Also, I pretty much need an IV of fluids straight to my soul
That girl definitely just ate a hot dog and stared straight in to my eyes.
I wish I could be happy with a nice Christian girl, but no, I need a hot mess who starts bar fights
your life is not complete until you watch a gaggle of murderous clowns dance to gangnam style.
also, what is the correct term for a shit ton of clowns?
I'M GOING TO FUCK AN ENTIRE ORCHESTRA AND NOTHING CAN STOP ME
The band club does not count as an orchestra
You're wasting your dick. It needs to be bestowed upon the masses.
Sooo i'm debating posing nude for the drawing and painting classes, I just wanna see if they draw my nip ring.
Christ, I'm so hungover I pretty positive I sent Luna to school with salsa instead of jelly on her sandwich.
Randomize
