I just walked into a tree. I think it's time to go home.
She was drunk and kept trying to talk while I was in her mouth. It sounded like the teacher from a Charlie Brown cartoon!
how is it that boston is so bitchin and the rest of massachusetts sucks so much?
how is it that you still think "bitchin" is an acceptable term anymore?
Needless to say, wine tasting turned into wine chugging
Dude you just tried to have a one night stand with my ex girlfriend while we were trying to put you to bed upstairs.
but that still doesn't explain how i woke up on the couch down stairs.
i love that when i tell my kids and grandkids about how we first met it will be about this little thing called a "poke" on facebook
Some kid in my class just puked in his backpack, zipped up the backpack, put the backpack on and walked out the door.
He bought me flowers. The card with it said: Sorry I cant get you off. I will try harder.
all i know is that each time we woke up we were at a different chinese restaurant. help.
It's Christmas week. I wouldn't know what to do if i wasn't hung over.
i just declared my major based on how close the department building was to our apartment. laziness has been brought to a new level
Our logic class started an hour ago, I walked out and found my sister drunk, sitting down, eating m&ms, afraid to walk in... I want her life
Nothing like wearing your heels and smelling like henney in the afternoon
Covered in confetti and bad decisions
God, I missed his penis.
Whose the chick running for dorm president promising bigger dicks and softer toilet paper? That’s who I m voting for
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