i got us presents. or arrested. we shall see!
I thought I hit my peak drinking in college. Just finished first day on Wall Street. College was nothing.
I mean, I don't even call it a hangover anymore. It's just morning.
He said he wants to make an itinerary for the sex we'll have when I come home.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Our brains have an emergency blowjob override switch. You saw proof tonight.
Some chick is drunk waving down a taxi with a slice of pizza.
And then as he was trying to conceal his boner from everybody, you said aloud "just grab your cock and get out of the pool"
There were four people in the car. The girls sure know how to blow. I think we almost crashed when the driver climaxed.
It's 2:10 am I am sprawled on the floor of the kitchen drunk and eating cold chicken wings come help
My purse is like an anchor I can't move I am sliding around like an over turned turtle send help
This floor is really dirty send a maid if you can
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
That moment when a stripper is the one that makes the two of you have to define the status of your relationship...
I just made myself orgasm twice and Laura lee hit 4 million subscribers. It’s a good day everywhere
Idk what's happening right now but im wearing a tutu and pissed as fuck.
Well, for starters, you were growling and slurping beer from a puddle on the carpet. Let's all hope that was beer...
Come to my place after work and we can discuss our finances over a coors delight and a fire ball shot
Why did I wake up with a half-eaten burrito and a vaccuum cleaner in my bed? ...on top of me.
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