I've never had a man I enjoyed more than steak
i just met a girl who was sent to the hospital for using her phone as a vibrator and got electrocuted. 4 weeks later she got sent back for shoving a hot dog up there. welcome to the teenage american society
just put cider in my bong. gotta love fall
You took a fire extinguisher off the wall in the hallway to play Ghostbusters.
She either was great at sex or I finished the whole bottle of svedka my self
I realize now that I left my pants on that table in the downstairs bathroom at you house on Tuesday....
Good news: he out-ran the campus police. Bad news: they were chasing him toward the REAL police.
I wish! That ended in 2001 when we all got collectively band from the Settle Inn. As a group we are also band from social events at the zoo. It's impressive really.
Omphalophobia is a real thing. don't ever fucking touch my belly button again dude
I'm sad that I feel like I need to temporarily change your name in my phone from Smashley until you have the baby and can be unsober with us again.
Hyyypothetically, what would you do if you happened to see my boobs on the internet?
He's my favorite late night booty call. He lives next to a Wendy's.
You know you've made it in life when the people in the next stall are cheering on your orgasm
You know, normal sex stuff involves shitting your pants. If you do it right.
Can we just take a minute to acknowledge that you're drinking with your gay ex boyfriend's DAD who is a DEACON??
Randomize
