I'm chasing vodka with french fries.
Oh well shit happens. This is my not worried face. This is also my still decently drunk face.
On an unrelated note: I'm also a big advocate of the "never waste a boner" theory.
This is to remind you the pizza is in the dishwasher birthday boy eat it before it goes on
You fell asleep with your fingers in my vagina. You made this a relationship.
Woke up naked on my floor covered in cookies. We should celebrate fake hurricanes every weekend.
Some girl at the bar was showing us her chipped tooth as a pick up line.
im so proud of her that she got shit faced finally. This must be what it feels like to see you kids get their diploma or some shit.
Yeah... I still gave her a hug because I felt really bad though. I mentioned that my boyfriends grandma just died too, just to reinforce that I'm straight afterwards.
Are you kidding me????? How bout, IM SORRY FOR CALLING YOU 16 TIMES AND LEAVING YOU A TWO MINUTE VOICEMAIL OF MYSELF THROWING UP.
I think I might get 604 tattooed on my ass tonight...
you're welcome to come here, except my beds from ikea so it's more unstable than i am
By 9 pm this evening I'll have accomplished smashing with two different guys in two different time zones in the same day.
Stay hydrated
the guy had "bad bitches only" tattooed above his penis...
Im crying watching 9/11 footage eating spray can cheese in my pajamas.
Randomize
