omg omg i just fucked paul. i need to stop doing this kind of thing.
wait, who's paul?
exactly.
Where are I am going home with Ryan
I don't know who this or Ryan is but it is probably too late to talk you out of it
dude I just realized something - girls return my clothes washed so in thought bringing girls home is like avoiding going to the laundramat
Pre-order weed for 4/20 and i'll give you a discount.
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
now I know why they wanted me to come. apparently gay guys are stripper magnets
Well the streets were closed, so it was okay for me to just lay down for a little bit.
I didn't know where we were going to start fucking, so I just strategically hid condoms all over the house before he came over.
She said, after pronouncing how sober she was, and I quote 'Take this bag, it's so heavy it's like 500 degrees! Wait, is it time to go? Can I run? I think I can run!' Then she ran away.
we received free cupcakes at the first bar, and then I at the second bar i hooked up with a fat chick from Cincinnati on the patio.
you win some, you lose some.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
I asked her if she could eat some Doritos so when we made out it would taste awesome
I want to bone him until his eyes fall out
2016 was supposed to be my year of being a ho, but I guess 2017 might be too.
Let's ride this possibly pregnant train together
Learn from my mistakes. DO NOT try to steam a garment of clothing while you are wearing it. The burn is not worth the de-wrinkle.
But at least i made friends with the nice lesbian cop. She knew i was her kind when she had to confiscate my rainbow/pride rolling papers.
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