brad dismisses pussy with prejudice
I've decided to film a documentary centered around how he manages to keep that beast caged in such tight pants
I don't know how I got that girl last night. I feel like seal right now sans the scars
My bosses just told me they met their wives on one night stands. I'm stoked.
We made a late night liquor run, made margaritas and bloody marys and then retreated to opposite sides of the house to drink them. Alone.
You guys make me sad
You misspelled jealous there
i was playing the convince him im sober game through texting. i spelled most of the words right. i hope.
The sex I just had was not worth missing a girls night out.
Thanks for buying me a sippy cup, its so pretty and everyone keeps telling me its probably the best gift anyone could have given me
The bachelorette started when I opened the door and they threw a few dozen dildos at me.
Everytime Our professor said "penis fencing" in class today we took shots.
I'm a stupid stupid woman who is totally going to rock this holiday season dick drunk on that Ginger
He lives 20 minutes away driving distance and decided to walk. I talked to him today and he took a nap along the way... In a cemetery.
I woke up completely naked in a mint condition 71 chevelle in someones garage. What.
You know that thing where you wouldn't typically eat ass but you're in love with him so you want to eat his ass, because it's HIS ass
Its like people have to train for months before they try and drink with us and survive...
Randomize
