I want leopard sheets
haha sexcapades
thats the plan
I just saw a hot homeless man
We just all danced like dinosaurs in the center of the dance floor.
4 maple syrup blunts. Decided to sit on my roof and count the snowflakes that landed on my tongue. 84.
Now there are two cop cars. If I go to jail I just would like to thank you for making me wear boxers.
Package from mother. Contents: Cookies, my old pokemon cards, and condoms. Note: "These have a July 2010 expiration date so give them away or use them with a gal that would be a great daughter in law. Love Mom" Love you too momma
Well, as a member of the greater american southwest gay community I just have to mark this as a total loss and you will be missed.
Well for starters the people who just made my burger at the grab and go just told me to "hang in there"
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
He was hammered and shot his pistol into the lawn. Next thing I know sheriffs are at our house with M4s. He likes to party
Just checking to make sure you weren't kidnapped, pregnant or watching Fox News.
Hold me and let me compliment your butt
ok but bondage is pretty much my easy mode
Do plants get herpes?
who is this
Apparent my drunk ass was so dedicated to taking a piss, when I walked across the dance floor to get to the bathroom a 9/10 broad tried to dance with me and I just pushed her aside, like hard enough to send her a few feet from where she was standing, pointed at her and said "Not now chief, gotta rock a mean one."
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