Is it weird if i grunt like Tim Taylor when im having sex AND grilling steaks??
What do you do when the person in the stall next to you says they're jealous?
she was home schooled till college. were she learned how to give the most amazing blowjobs is still a mystery.
and yes, the jail cell in Citi Field does have a big Mets symbol in it
incase your class ends early, there are three naked guys in our room. but don't get too excited, they're all gay.
Bonus points if someone shits their pants. Only 1/2 bonus points if it's you
Bonus points are bonus points regardless
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Besides. I don't even really like sex because it feels great. I like it because for thirty minutes I own that guys ass.
bartering with my concussed boyfriend to eat food with blowjobs
Han Solo would be ashamed of me.
I'm on tinder and every time somebody says something too creepy for me I start quoting scripture at them. My boobs are like missionaries.
My liver appreciates your vow of avoiding matrimony
I just ordered cookies for delivery. My life is falling apart.
Rough birthday weekend. Eating McDonalds in the shower and used a fifth of sky as a pillow last night
Dude i just passed out while getting head...she cried
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