You were right, I'm so drunk and I want to eat the shit out of my vanilla cupcake candle it smells delish
Experience is the best teacher
At a stoplight watching a woman push groceries in a stroller while dodging oncoming traffic... Reallllly Detroit?
The guy at McDonald's just told us there is no flash photography allowed.
she danced around my room naked waving around the gold trojan magnum condoms singing "i have the golden ticket."
little did she know i was taping her the whole time.
31 Times Kim Kardashian Showed Her Love For Balmain
He gave me a hug and said "He doesn't deserve you, Anna. Your boobs are great, and I'd fuck you anytime. Any. Place." I need a new 'gay' friend.
I'm concerned I'll look like a hooker on new years eve in this outfit
There are different standards on new years eve. To look like a hooker you literally need to be giving a guy head on the street while he's handing you cash.
where are you guys? the police just woke me up on the couch outside.
I gave his parents a candle as a thanks for letting me hang out there all the time. Which i guess is more accurately a thanks-for-letting-me-fuck-your-son candle
Yeah that doesn't involve enough booze, count me out
19 Tricks To Help You Join The Mile High Club
The bump on my forehead, i think, was from falling asleep at front door, on my knees, slumped over. But we played good music so what?
Timehop reminded me that 4 years ago today I helped a one armed man do the YMCA by being his other arm.
I'm a girl who met my last three bfs in gay clubs. Think I'm doing something wrong?
I forgot what I was gonna say, but I'm pretty excited to not be pregnant.
Never let your siblings swipe right.
Update: pile o Coke party starting at approx 4 - 7 and going until 1ish to celebrate our founding fathers and love of cocaine and hatred of everyone\n