ive never been so in love with another man before, in a totally none sexual way... no homo
Seriously, I would hit on barney the dinosaur right now if it meant I was going to get laid.
When god put her together, he was drunk & feeling creative... a vagina here, sexually ambiguous breasts there, and a pair of shoulders that would make a linebacker jealous
Planned Parenthood should have gift certificates.
Satisfying Perfect Camera Moments
so i just calculated it and i would need to score 150% on this final to pass
sweet and enthusiastic is code for tiny dick.
And then he used the flashlight app to illuminate me giving him head. Thanks IPhone
We glued Jenga blocks together, called it "magic blocks" and sold it to the stoners for $50 and a bottle of Henny
I just pulled a handful of rice out of my pocket.
This Dog Travel Carrier is a Must
we didnt even make it to the club...the two of us were sharing a plastc bag in the taxi puking into it.
I think its safe to assume that the 40yr old undergraduate with purple and pink in her hair and a tattoo of the eiffel tower above her ass crack has never actually been to Paris...
I'm sorry I compared your vagina to nascar
shes wearing an ankle tracker so she should be easy to find
there is a guy with a glowstick staff outside my house
After round two, I told him he deserves an award. He bowed and did a princess wave WHILE his dick was still inside me.