i was just at lovers lane looking for gifts for a bachelorette party.....with my mom
why did u let me go home with him last night?
u were determined it was a good idea
is it bad that the first thing i do when i get downstairs is go on farm town?
Can't remember why I called but it definitely had something to do with Lou Bega
Restaurants Roasting People Who Gave Them Negative Yelp Reviews (25 Pics)
Why is your vibrator in the fridge?
I'm testing sex in Alaska before I go there.
I do remember getting hit in the face by an ugly one because she thought I was blowing on her butthole.
Saddest moment ever is discovering when your cat no longer wants to get high with you.
Im sitting in church with a backpack full of beer bottles. This is friendship.
DONT EVER DUNK OREOS INTO WINE . NEVER
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
after further investigation i found out he's a little bit married..
Ugh he's so pretty though. He bit my face at the bar because I tried to steal his ID and I forgave him
It's 4am & this guy is asleep with his junk still inside me..really rethinking my life
Dude.. She just busted into my house wearing a ski mask, a poncho, and thigh-high pink hooker boots and yelled, "THE CABS ARE HEEERRREEE!!"
The air I exhale reeks of whiskey and bad decisions
I think I'm taking after my dog, I just want to hump everything
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