Just be blunt and say drink from my dick
u sent me just one boob. one just doesnt do it for me. u dont get full on a half a rack of ribs u need a full one
all i wanna do is slam about 38 beers eat a whole pizza and wake up naked in the taco bell parking lot
For Halloween this year I'm gonna go as Angelina from Jersey Shore. I'm gonna yell "umm HELLO?!," cockblock someone, then leave the party early
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im sleeping in a hamic at a mansion. best hangover ever
I just dropped macaroni right down my cleavage. For the sake of our future, I'm really banking on this being a turn on for you.
And I'm supposed to be surprised that you got another concussion?
She just referred to her vagina as "this bitch".
She just hopped out of the car at a red light to pet the baby Jesus in the nativity scene.
Not worth it.
Woman Posts Harassing DMs From Creep Online, Now He’s Upset Because People Told His Mom
Which one of you fuckers thought itd be funny to see if the kitchen table can float.
SIMBAAAA REMEBER WHO YOU ARE
I wish your snatch was here
If my snatch could sprout wings I'd fly to you
I'm spending tomorrow with her. What should my ridiculous personal goal be? I've already got a blowjob while eating a cupcake
Oh by "being festive" I mean make tacos for dinner.
If I don't quit picking up guys when I'm drunk, I'm going to need a vagina transplant.
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