I was so drunk last night i ate cereal with a fork.
the bulge in his pants is not junk. its hair. trust.
so im kinda of nervous about the whole bust inside event last night
jess passed out on the pong table. it was depressing until we started singing shania twain an hour later and heard her muffled voice singing along.
she said she likes her vagina punished
being with you and your tiny dick is punishment enough
You know you stopped at a liquor store to prepare for a 12-year-old's birthday party, right?
using the campers leftover pizza money at the bar. Definition of great counselors right here.
I feel like jumping into a breast pit right now. Like the old school ball pits at mcdonalds.
So to distract myself from jackies vomiting, im making up a story in my head. It's called the little penis that could
The light burnt out and he thinks the power is out in the whole house. He is cooking a hog dog over two candles. I'm gonna see if he'll make me one
So right before she was about to give me head she tapped the tip and said "Is this thing on" I think I'm in love.
I'm gone to the point of literally hugging trees, partially for support, but also because I like them.
I just got St Patricks day and the day after St Patricks day off, wich I'm pretty sure is as close to a raise as I'll ever get.
My neck feel like I've been sucking Goliath's dick.
My vagina is the only part of me that is pleased you lived through last night.
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