I had another sleeping on concrete incident.
My mom is pretending to be Paula Deen while making breakfast...I'm pretty sure she's sober.
you were saying "i am the vodka queen!" and then in a different voice replying to yourself "all hail the vodka queen! you are so beautiful!"
i was staring at her drunk thinking "shes at least a four"
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Nahh. Maybe not even a handful. It's more like a heaping teaspoon worth of dick.
Fuck edible panties there is a dress made out of bacon
Batchelotette party success. I woke up on the floor in nothing but a thong, a garter and a shirt that says Just Do Me.
Haven't sucked a dick since mid December. In crisis mode.
I just ate a handful of salt
I thought this was a good idea
I lost my pants last night, she told me I walked into their room after leaving 5 minutes before wearing my thong.....and no pants. I have absolutely no idea where I left them.
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I believe the only reason I am slightly functional right now is the leftover drugs in my nose that I keep sniffing
The day will come again young grasshopper. For now you must complete your training of patience and tongue biting
Yeah. Broke it off. Saw her cheating after she forgot to turn her zoom off. Ring=$$$. Not making that mistake-priceless
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