i just saw a homeless guy running after a pigeon, catch it and put it in his jacket pocket. I'm not sure if the bird is now his pet or dinner!
Omg. Well, welcome to Oakland...
I just witnessed two drunk midgets fighting over a graham cracker. I can die happy now.
at the topless march for equality..and wow.not all these boobs should be treated equally
Drunk lesbians having an argument about their realationship isn't as hot as I imagined.....
Drunk me thought he was hot enough to overlook the fact that he had poison ivy and still have sex with him. Sober me wants to know if you have any calamine lotion.
i can't believe you just compared my dick to leprosy
Omg having my Grindr go off at the planned parenthood is just not okay
We smoked a huge blunt and then laid in bed naked eating strawberry shortcake good humor bars. We have the perfect relationship.
You drunkenly said something along the lines of "move forever" to the lady standing in your way. Needless to say you had too many mimosas at breakfast.
She started throwing ice at me and started yelling, "Holy water bitches! This is an exorcism!"
He walked into the bar with a pineapple and they served him AND the pineapple
Omg the sex was so good my ears popped. Thank god too. Cause then I didn't have to hear him going on and on about his dumbass feelings. It's called a booty call bitch.
I don't really want to explain what i mean by this so just answer yes or no. are 5 cows enough?
not only did I call my ex crying but drunk me also deleted the phone log so I had no warning when I saw him in class
Santi's no longer allowed to buy booze in my lane. Last thing I need is a midlife crisis looking at his Id again.
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