Little spoons don't ask big questions
My vag wants to play a game of hungry hungry hippos with your cock.
I made out with a guy because he was sitting on my coat...
Either way, we will celebrate half Christmas the only way we can. Completely and irresponsibly wasted.
Sorry, but when you makeout with a guy in a panda suit, you know something has to change.
I should start prefacing bondage with girls saying "I know you've read 50 Shades, but there is a 33% you're gonna freakout and go home, while I jerk it alone"
I mean, I already put pants on today. We're already halfway there
i swear to god it was like we were fucking in 9 dimensions
Going overboard is basically 75% of my personality
I'm a gorgeous hot mess
He brought me flowers and then spanked me with a Doctor Who paddle. Pretty good night, as these things go.
Awwwwwww!
While he was going down town Julie brown, I was eating French fries. True Love
Fortunatly we found him, he was on my roof. Unfortunatly, we can't say the same for his pants. Still looking. BRB.
Get here now. There’s a guy dressed as Captain Morgan handing out miniature bottles of Captain Morgan.
My goal tonight is to be arrested by the Police Women of Cincinnati.
Her oh Gods turned into oh god I shouldn't be doing this I'm engaged.
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