Eric got herpes from Jo-ann
That's what he deserves for hooking up with a french canadian
took adderall before wrapping presents, ended up making paper snowflakes for two hours
I wish we knew morse code and could knock to each other through the wall
I literally just biked home like I was on the last leg about to win the tour du France. Fuck diarrhea
just for future reference, lake water is NOT mix for hard stuff. nor is it an adequate substitute.
He was on top and as he finished he yelled "I love gold" , so yeah I'm seeing him later tonight
I'm so proud of us for not dying.
The fact that I can sew my leggings while intoxicated proves I'm a functioning alcoholic
You start to question your party girl tendencies when you're wearing the same shirt you wore the night before to work and you're trying to get last nights Jell-O shot off the sleeve on your way to work
Found a pic on my phone from last night. You're drunk. Arm wrestling some guy. In the bar bathroom. At a baby changing station. It's my new wallpaper.
I'm gonna fight the coyote
A guy at my table is reading a magazine called "Cheese Connoisseur"
Been using bowl smoking as a method of time for so long I don't know how long it actually takes to get to work
dude pick up your phone
i cant. im high and theres a wild turkey in my backyard. wouldnt miss this moment for anything
Nothing says I'm doing some sketchy shit like coming out of your bedroom with your underwear inside out
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