you were carrying a trash bag around insisting it was your purse. I'll let you guess how your night went
I wish sober me loved running as much as drunk me...
i went to a real vip club. the bathroom attendant was wiping down counters after girls wearing gucci did lines of coke on them. where did MY life go wrong
I drove to Chevron at noon and the Hatian lady goes "Oh, nothing to drink yet white boy?"
CAUTION: TWINS DO NOT HAVE TWIN PENISES.
There are a bunch of guys at the door looking for the guy you brought back to the condo...pretended not to speak English. You're welcome.
In all fairness I did warn the guy I just spray tanned before we had sex so I hold no responsibility for the bronzer all over his sheets
I just met his other fuck buddy...I am thinking of befriending her just to fuck with him...manuplating my roommates into hating each other is boring me i need something else to do
I sat on the ground outside wawa chain smoking and telling two strangers about my sex life. I also accepted Rick James Bitch and Celine Dion as their names.
im suggesting it to him. and by suggesting i mean we're not having sex again unless im wearing high heels
The bartender just hugged us goodnight. I think we go there too often.
is there a line between daddy kink and oedipus complex?
He then used a box cutter I keep in my car to open the plan b. Who says chivalry is dead?
The fabulous human disaster: it is him
This is the fourth guy that I've broken in to gay sex. How the hell do they find me?
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