Found my phone laying in a snow angel outside my apt this morning.
They walked in to the store, ripped up the phone book, and left. Can we get on their level?
Apparently you can legally be topless in Boulder, CO. Get on it.
Once he blows his load, he's more of an immediate flight risk than that jetBlue pilot. He's out the door before his cum is out of my vajayjay.
I'm now drinking beer through a straw. By order of the bartender.
She is currently expressing her joy for "bad to the bone" through interpretive dance...
Yeah. Still not happy that my prof saw a picture of my vag.
Ever since we've gotten back together, it's like the ghosts of booty call's past have been hitting me up. Lol.
He wants to make me arch my back "like I'm having an exorcism". Not sure if I'm turned on or freaked out.
apparently when we were gone the parents play strip connect 4
This ice cream is 10x better than the sex I had yesterday
The last I heard from her she said she was going to plant sunflowers, get drunk on white wine and listen to Everybody Wants to Rule the World on repeat.
Hey every now and then can you tell me you want to fuck me to boost my confidence? Thanks.
So, 'head before the store' turned into a fuck fest, & that's how I ended up at the grocery store smelling like a cum farm on Black Friday. How's your weekend?
Let’s not dwell on the negatives. I have a fat ass and suck dick well.
Randomize
