Tip #47, don't trim the bush when you have the shakes!
Threesomes are so awesome. You even have company on your walk of shame :)
He was wearing a Knicks jersey I had to go home with him. it was a rough season.
I cant wait for your democrat phase to be over.
you were drinking a pitcher of what you called "16 loko" and making everybody guess what the secret ingredient was
Just seen a scantily clad pirate with 2 36 packs of natty ice on a bike riding with no hands. If she doesn't hit a speed bump she's golden and should be on the next Americas got talent.
My god. We'll be gay porn millionaires.
YOU NEED TO STOP BLOWING DUDES ON MY COUCH AT MY PARTIES
YOU NEED TO STOP PROVIDING TEQUILA AT YOUR PARTIES
How do you tell an ex that banging less hot chicks than me is highly insulting? I almost want to try and get him laid with a pretty girl just to save some face for dating him so long.
I'm a terrible friend...i should have come right over instead of having sex for an hour and a half. :/ want anything from burger king?
What kind of life do I lead that no one is surprised by the fact that I was watching porn at work with the hot 37 year old?
THEY SELL PREFROZEN MARGARITAS AND THEY COME WTH A STRAW. MY PRIORITIES ARE IN ORDER
Now we're discussing the sex we had and the later lack thereof. It's like marriage counseling via snapchat.
Have you considered sword swallowing? Something about that bj tells me you could make a it a career.
if you come you're not allowed to wear pants. if you arrive wearing pants you won't be wearing them long.
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