you remind me of a slightly lless slutty bristol palin
and you remind me of a slightly less retarded levi johnston
oh great. the only prospects for sex left for the night are douchebag in the ed hardy shirt & frodo-looking ass
fuck it... i'll be the lord of his rings
I'm officially my mother.. Smoking in the garage pretending to take the dog out in a big ugly jacket
Nothing like studying in the College of Communication to make you realize how smart you are.
I am way too high for this. Some guy just keeps talking about music and life goals and he apparently has lived in every city we mention we are going
He told me he was in a Proactive commercial. It didn't seem to work for him but he was buying me shots so I slept with him anyways.
he ate me out on his front porch at dawn. i orgasmed when the sun began to rise. most romantic morning booty call ever.
Also, putting laundry hampers on my head and pretending I'm an astronaut is a good way to get caught in every door frame in the house.
Seriously, do normal people actually get work done being this hungover? No wonder the economy's in the shitter
There's holes in the drywall and the beer pong table is a broken door on two barstools. You know they like to party.
I came so hard I burst a blood vessel in my eye. If i cant marry this girl, I'm gonna have to switch teams.
I'm not entirely sure that the guy that just texted me is not on drugs right now. I'm also not entirely sure that he isn't about to be incarcerated.
That's a gentle way of saying I passed out like an 18-year-old on his first trip to Tijuana
She used to be cute, back when we were young.
Oh well, so were platform jellies. Shit changes.
we had sex in his office so i figured it was appropriate to like his company's page on facebook
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