i may or may not have been spotted by tourists while getting head in the vicinity of the jefferson memorial
im about as happy as oj after his trial
if that dog is afraid of alcohol then he's no dog of mine
i bought another $5 worth of vodka. with change. i look like a homeless alcoholic. i need your dino cups or else i'll be forced to make a giant jello bowl shot
These 33 Eskimo Brothers Boinked The Same Person And Couldn’t Be More Proud
beware of the wheat thins...there might be a knife in it
nothing says 4th of july like teaching grandma how to work a keg
Hey, I didn't ask that stripper to put her unds in my mouth, it was just covered by the plus package fee I ordered.
No. I just want to cuddle and talk about our feeling. Of course this a booty call.
It looked like his dick was wearing an argyle sweater.
17 Inappropriate Things People Did With Instruments
I'M ALSO PLAYING VIDEO GAMES AND THINKING ABOUT ORDERING A PJIZZA. I'M NOT SURE WHAT MY MUSTACHE WANTS.
Nothing says "welcome to Denver" like a hot 18 year old giving you directions to the dispensary and ending up blowing you in the backseat
if becoming an adult is chugging a bottle of wine in your bed and crying about your stresses while your dog watches you, sign me up
I'll get tired halfway through and end up passed out at a taco shack honestly
A girl just invited me over for a blowjob and beer. Is this a trap?
You make any dick jokes involving sushi and there WILL be consequences.
Sushi is fucking sacred in this house and I will kill you if you try and taint that.